Safety Lessons on Child Sexual Abuse
Wow! That’s a cool star.
It’s my safety shield. I had to learn the safety lesson and take the safety quiz to get it.
Can we get one?
This is Miss P. She gave me this.
Can we have one, too?
Yes, you could have yours if you learn the safety lesson and take the safety quiz. You ready?
The safety shield keeps you safe from bad people. How do you think you could figure if someone’s bad?
Oh, bad people have big teeth.
No, my dear.
Oh, they have big red eyes.
No, no, no.
They have large hands and an evil smile.
Bad people might not look bad; they look like everybody else does. They can be nice-looking, nice-smelling, and cool, too. They might even have a stash of yummy candies in their pockets.
Oh, that’s so confusing! How do I know if someone is bad?
That’s what the safety lesson will teach you. It teaches you to keep your body safe.
Oh, I take a bath every day and that keeps my body safe.
No, my dear. Cleaning the body is different from keeping your body safe.
Let’s look at the human body.
Uhmm. This is a human body. And these are private parts. For a boy, his genitals and his bottom are private parts. And for a girl, her breasts, genitals and her bottom are private parts. They are called private parts because they shouldn’t be shown in public. And even now, when we are swimming and most of our clothes are off, we are still covering our private parts. If someone sees your private parts or makes you see someone else’s private parts, it’s called “see alert”. If someone talks about private parts, it’s called “talk alert”. If someone touches your private parts or asks you to touch their private parts, it’s called “touch alert”. No one is allowed to see private parts, talk about private parts, or touch private parts. Only mom and dad can do that when they have to wash you or if you are hurt in your private parts.
But my nanny bathes me every day. Is that OK?
It’s OK if your mom or dad says it’s OK. So ask your parents to make you a list of caregivers that can see, talk about, or touch your private parts. Again, they can do this only if they have to wash you or if you were hurt in your private parts.
OK. Now, I understand.
Bad people can harm you only if you are alone with them. Remember: never to accept goodies from strangers, especially when your parents aren’t around. Being alone with a stranger is “alone alert”. If you find yourself in such a situation, move to a place that has more people around. You should not allow anyone to hug, carry, or kiss you. If someone hugs, carries, or kisses you, it’s “hold alert”.
I love my aunt Kate. And we hug and kiss. Is that “hug alert”?
Hmmm. That’s a very good question, my dear. Of course, she could love you and hug you if she’s in your circle of love. You should make your circle of love with your parents. Your circle of love will have people who could hold and love you. Remember that your circle of love is different from your caretaker list.
Ah, now I get it.
Now that you have learnt the safety lesson. Are you ready for the safety quiz?
Now, look here. You have to tell me if what’s happening is okay or if there are any alerts.
Is it okay if the doctor has to check a child’s private parts when her mom is at the side?
Is it okay if a man touches a girl’s breasts?
No, it’s “touch alert”.
Is it okay if a caretaker helps a boy wear his clothes?
Is it okay if a man takes off his clothes before a girl?
No, it’s “see alert”.
Is it okay if a woman says “nice breasts” to a girl?
No, it’s “talk alert”.
Is it okay if a woman takes a girl playing with friends to a lonely street?
No, it’s “alone alert”.
Is it okay if a teacher calls a group of children to get inside a classroom?
Is it okay if a woman shows a picture of a naked woman to a boy?
No, it’s “see alert”.
Is it okay if a man hugs and kisses a child?
No, it’s “hold alert”.
Is it okay if an uncle hugs his niece?
It’s okay. But only if he is in her circle of love. Otherwise, it’s “hold alert”.
Why would someone carry me when I don’t like it?
There’re people who are sick and weak in the mind and they like to harm others. And the truth is: they are really scared. If you don’t like the way anyone touches you, you must say no. It’s your body and you should take care of yourself. And there is no need to be scared.
What should I do if someone is doing this to me?
It’s never late to say no. Even [if] someone has done anything bad with you, or is doing something bad with you, you can start saying no even now. You must be brave and tell your mom, dad or someone that you are comfortable with. By talking about it, you will also be helping other children to be safe from that bad person.
Now that you all know what is okay and what is wrong, what are the “five alerts” that you must remember at all times?
“See alert”, “talk alert”, “touch alert”, “alone alert” and “hold alert”.
Excellent! You have all earned your own safety shields.
Have you earned yours? For free helpers and related products, visit howtotellyourchild.com. Tough Conversations Made Easy.