笔生金冠 | 媛遇梧桐凤鸣意,淡茶书斋映梦圆

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热烈祝贺高大班学子冯莉媛摘获第六届“岭南杯”英语写作技能大赛公共英语组冠军(特等奖)及大赛“金笔奖”

“岭南杯”英语写作技能大赛由广州外国语协会、广州日报、丝路邮报主办,共有全省60多所高等院校、360多名学生参赛。比赛分为初赛、复赛和决赛三个环节。初赛需要提交一篇主题为“新时代我的梦”的征文,组委会据此评出10名“金笔奖”并选拔选手进入复赛。复赛通过笔试决出30名决赛选手。在5月20日的决赛当天,选手需完成三轮比赛。第一轮选手需要用英语陈述作品要点并回答评委提问。第二轮为英语写作知识和文化常识问答;第三轮为八分钟看图即兴写作。冯莉媛在三轮比赛里中均斩获全组最高分,以优秀的表现赢得了观众的热烈掌声!

以下是我征得冯莉媛同学的同意,将其获得“金笔奖”的初赛作文分享出来,供各位读者朋友们学习。

参赛

作品

参赛者:中山大学法学院2017级 冯莉媛

指导老师:陈静

Chase My Paradise in New Era

The distinguished philosopher Borges once imagined that the heaven would be a kind of library. The moment I stepped into the Eslite Bookstore in Taiwan, it hit me that I also encountered my answer to paradise: bookstores.

Both oceans of books and seas of readers impressed me. Heaps after heaps, shelves after shelves, numerous books embodied the shape of wisdom, creating an elegant and profound air of knowledge. Under each cover a mind tour into wonderland waited. And each customer fell under the spell and answered the call. Picking a book and sinking intently between the lines, they blended into the realm of peace and manifested part of it. So holy and beautiful it was that I held breath and walked on tiptoe, fearful to bother the harmony. 

The bookstore wasn't spacious but the exploration seemed endless. I discovered that the charm of bookstores lied in the fact that in such a limited space, any limitless expansion of mind could be sparkled. 

My dream, to own a bookstore one day, was ignited by the realization then. Anyone who could provide this magical zone, a paradise, to encourage and witness this expansion should feel ultimate happiness, for he accommodates the ardent love for reading, conveys respect for the pursuit of knowledge, and shares the echo which makes readers feel a sense of belonging. When the customers enrich their mind, the bookstore owner also fulfils his life.

But as time advances, it occurs to me that I should take more concern into consideration. With the technology leap, people take up e-books, kindles and audiobooks, leaving traditional pages behind. Fast-paced modern life leaves fragmental reading the prior if not the only choice, making it an unaffordable luxury to take time in brick-and-mortar bookstores to complete books. And for newly-thriving bookstores, commercialized management always comes first in respond to highly-competitive markets. It's tough and even impossible for traditional pure bookstores to survive.

Consequently, I questioned myself about my dream: in this new era what type of bookstores can I present? How can I make my aspiration of mind expansion come true?

I believe the original essence of my dream deserves persistence, which reflects the value of humanity. But faced with all the changes and innovation, I must strive to fit in to avoid falling behind. High-technology, new forms of reading and commercialization system are all given by new era and I should not take them as thorny challenges but precious gifts. They can assist and supplement, hence perfecting my prospect.

In my dream bookstore, you can still sit beside the shelves, visiting fairylands on pages, while artificial intelligence adjusts the most pleasant temperature, scent and light to create a favorable reading environment. VR technology allows you to reach the wonders for real. Information network ensures that any relevant knowledge is available at your request. Robots offer efficient guidance for better search and data system supports you with special recommendation based on the analysis of your unique reading appetite. Meanwhile, creative cultural products add up attractiveness and promote the band and data analysis arranges an appropriate reading schedule for you.

This is my dream and future design of my ideal paradise in new era. Time forges ahead and we should catch up with vigor and creativity, but still bear the initial aspiration in mind. The core of expansion would be reached to the fullest, if we utilize the gifts new era endows us, to appropriately redefine the texture and experience of reading.

Take the gifts from the era to better serve the expansion, and I will eventually realize my bookstore dream in new era.

阅读感受


在这篇文章中,冯莉媛同学与我们分享了她的梦想,那就是开一家书店,给顾客带去思想开阔的快感的同时,自己也收获了那种幸福。我曾经在与冯莉媛交流人生规划的时候听她讲述过她的这一梦想。可以说,这个梦想非常的朴素、平淡。但那天在交流的时候,我惊讶于她能够把她心中所理想的那个书店,描述得如此具体、有画面感,让我竟产生一种置身其中的感觉。那时我就知道,这个简单朴素的梦想对冯莉媛来说,绝不是想想而已,而是发自内心深处的愿望。我尊重和支持每一个有梦想的人,梦想不分大小,只要是发自心底最真切的愿望,我都感到敬畏。所以当我得知这个比赛的主题是有关“梦想”的时候,我第一时间就想到,冯莉媛一定会写“开书店”的事情;我也很高兴她能在作文里真实地表达自己的想法,真正好的作品只有先真诚地打动自己,才有可能打动评委、获得金奖

在“新时代我的梦”这道作文题目中,冯莉媛以自己开书店的梦想为载体,通过反思电子时代、碎片化阅读时代和商业化时代对“单纯”、传统的实体书店所带来的冲击,表达了她对现实社会问题的观察和思考;通过设想未来新时代里她所经营的书店是一家由AI、VR等新技术辅助下的现代化书店,提出了她自己关于传统实体书店应对生存挑战的解决办法,那就是主动拥抱新时代送给我们的“宝贵礼物”。文章体现出一定的思想性。语言上,她的这篇作文经过指导老师的精心修改,在用词、句式、修辞等各方面都堪称完美、相当精彩!我提不出任何意见。

唯一我认为还可以再进一步提升的地方,是我觉得文章第一第二段比起其它部分稍显逊色:①首段第1句的引用与后面的内容衔接不够连贯,第2句似乎应该放在第二段更合适。②第二段对与在台湾书店见闻的描写画面感还不够强,有的词用得太抽象和虚幻了,没有展现出一种“传统感”的风味,因而就无法说明“她心之所向的那种‘思想开阔’的体验是必须要在传统的实体书店才能获得的”;如果无论是读电子书还是实体书、无论是阅读鸿篇巨著还是碎片化阅读、无论书店是否商业化管理,都能让读者获得“思想开阔”的体验的话,那么,后文所要表现的“传统vs.现代”的这对主题矛盾也就不复存在了。所以,我的建议是,前面四段的内容也应该围绕“传统vs.现代”这一中心思想而展开、作足铺垫,使文章更具整体性。

最后,我想再次向冯莉媛表示祝贺。我所要祝贺的不仅是她在此次英语作文比赛中所获得的佳绩,更要祝贺的是她从高考失利的不甘心中走了出来,在大学的学习和生活中渐入佳境。我相信,未来冯莉媛一定可以走出属于自己的道路,绽放精彩,就如同凤凰寻遇到自己栖息的梧桐树一样!我也祝愿她在一座自己喜欢的城市开家书店、过平淡幸福生活的朴素梦想和愿望一定能够实现。

   冯庭芝兰慧斐然,

   莉花香墨语淑涵。

   媛遇梧桐凤鸣意,

   淡茶书斋映梦圆。

▼更多冯莉媛的英语演讲视频,请点击阅读原文

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